To the light and back

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Patan Museum is lovely this time of the year.

Especially today. It rained a bit in the noon and left the city feeling cleaner than it had in weeks.

The April 2015 earthquake did a considerable damage to old structures in the Museum and the Durbar Square. But quick action from the Museum authorities made it possible to retrieve valuable pieces. Ones like in the picture.

These struts (bilampau) are currently waiting to be restored, and are not really in exhibit. They were stored in a small dark room, an entryway to a courtyard. But I thought they were beautiful. Quietly waiting for their turn at glory. Resilient.

A lost sailor

Your memories Echo in my head everyday
Your words create whirlpools.
My ocean of freedom shrinks into a river,
reduced to a stream,
then a pond –
You make me go back in ways I never imagined.

I’m a lost sailor
Only way back is the place from where I set off,
But I can’t take it anymore, this boat has to sink,
And I dive with little idea about swimming in the deep dark
(A memory of you telling me how illogical I was)
I’m in unfamiliar waters.

But I persist until I either die trying
Or until I learn the most valuable lesson of my short life.

Your Joke’s On Us

You joke, life feels bright
You joke, we laugh with all our might
You joke, now you almost cross the line
You joke, now anger on my sight
You joke, I feel like coming up to you with a knife
You joke, I feel like taking your life
You still joke with the knife on your neck
I laugh so much that I drop that knife
And fall on the floor, laughing
You resume joking, we get back on track,
Life could be bliss again.

Fix me

Gravity is strong today, like every alternate day. It’ll be productivity, happiness, energy, and enthusiasm tomorrow. But for now, my limbs are too heavy to lift, breathing is a chore, and living is a burden. I take myself too seriously.

I go to internet, that store of various solutions, seeking an end to problems. But nothing happens. I watch video after unrelated videos. Read a few paragraphs of an article to realize that I have no idea what I was reading, and waste energy. It’s funny how waiting is the only thing I think I can do.

It’s not that I haven’t sought a solid solution to my “plight”. The thing is that it keeps on changing itself, so the solution for Plight A is not really useful when Plight H comes. I’ve often thought that I’m creating my plights as I go and I haven’t ruled that out yet. The unpredictability of what I feel and think just sweeps me off my feet and dump me to a dungeon where I am chained in. Maybe that’s the gravity I am feeling.

I get a phone call and am jerked into working. This gets me wondering if those are the boosters I need.

I am a machine that needs to be fixed. So fix me.